Thursday, July 21, 2011

Creepy Van Guy > TSA

Thanks Creepy Van Guy, we never appreciated you untill someone worse came along.

From sharp as a Marble:

10. At least makes the offer of candy
9. After molesting you, he won’t rifle through your possessions looking for something to confiscate
8. If Creepy Van Guy is on break, you can still go play on the playground
7. Creepy Van Guy uses fresh gloves
6. Creepy Van won’t give you cancer
5. Creepy Van Guy will let you bring more than 3oz of liquid with you
4. He knows he’s creepy and has the potential to feel bad about it
3. No PSA on TV trying to tell you how good Creepy Van Guy really is
2. Creepy Van Guy’s actions are not financed by public taxes
And the number one reason Creepy Van Guy is better than the TSA
1. You are morally justified in using lethal force against someone trying to molest you. With Creepy Van Guy, you just won’t go to jail for doing it.


  1. Ready for this: There is a registered sex offender in Denver, who has been allowed to use an entire city block as his "residence"--the SOB lives in his van and parks it accordingly.

    Maybe his van should catch on fire some night!

    PS: The gun store job sounds great!

  2. Thanks OCM, as for your particular creepy van guy my thought is that it would be a horrible thing for anyone to graffiti his van describing who he is:)