Friday, October 10, 2014

Put Some F*%king Shoes On That Kid

(Warning the following will contain bad language, run-on sentences, and unflattering characterizations of White-Trash)

Listen Trailerpark-Barbie, I know that you've gotten used to all kinds of climates while dancing at Dimples juice bar while wearing nothing but glitter and a g-string, but put some fucking shoes on your infant.

You obviously noticed it was cold, raining, and windy when you put the child in a fleece hoodie and zipped it up, but I can only assume that shortly after that act the syphilis finally ate a critical portion of what little judgment center in your brain that you possessed.

Now I wouldn't mind but I'm pretty sure that I'm helping to pay for just about every bit of this child apart from making it(though given that EBT cards can now dispense cash at stripclub ATM's I'm not entirely sure about that) and there is a tiny infinitesimal and rapidly diminishing, I mean by the day, chance that this child one day may become a contributing member of society who lies about his family.


  1. Loved the syphilis bit...I'm totally stealing that.

    1. Go for it, never let it be said that I begrudge a friend a turn of phrase.