Friday, September 2, 2016

Friday Fuck-Off Open Thread

This week I'm going to defer to my wife who is several grades ahead of me in the school of profanity.

Bicycle riders can definitely fuck off.  They can fuck off with their handlebars held perpendicular to their anus when they FUCKING FORGET that they ALSO FUCKING HAVE TO FUCKING STOP AT GODDAMNED STOP SIGNS.  I FUCKING HAD THE RIGHT AWAY, YOU RANCID TWATSTAIN!!!  Do NOT scream at me with both middle fingers extended because YOU ran the FUCKING STOP SIGN, and vegetation and other vehicles blocked my view of you until AFTER YOU'D RUN THE FUCKING STOPSIGN!!!  May you try that with a city dump truck, because THAT'S THE ONLY FUCKING THING THAT WOULDN'T BE FUCKING TOTALED BY HITTING YOUR GINORMOUS ASS.
The floor is now yours angry readers and remember bonus points for creative profanity.


  1. Cool, sanctioned profanity. I'll give it a try.

    Fuck all the mouth breathing fucktards that are trying to lick the back window of their short bus while flying down the interstate with one lazy eye on their cell phone and the other on their Pop-tart. Go fuck an electrical socket so you don't reproduce.

    Thanks, I feel much better!

    1. That's what this weekly service is for, get things off your chest without stuffing the swear jar to bursting.

  2. hate them. rush hour in my home town, two lanes outbound, cyclist hogging one of them. i tooted lightly to request that he move over. he did not. more stronger honking. no response. got a chance to pass and all the traffic backed up for miles passed him all at once. in rear view mirror he was shaking fist and probably cussing.
    who gave them the right to block the entire traffic of a city?
    they have no manners except bad ones. then they blame any injuries they inflicted upon themselves on innocent law abiding drivers.
    they can ruin your day, and your driving record.
    send them all to europe! where they are tolerated.

    1. Thanks for the comment Deborah, and remember if you feel the need the FFOT is a "safe space" to let the most creative profanity you can muster lose to ease your frustration.